You’re excited, aren’t you? And you should be! Marriage done right is beautiful fellowship. I can’t imagine life without my best friend by my side, guiding me with God’s word, offering godly advice and comfort when I need it most, and loving me despite my absolute worst characteristics. No other earthly man would put up with me. Mister sees it all and decides to love me like Jesus loves the Church.
But he isn’t Jesus.
Your man is your dream guy. You said “yes” because you knew his love for God, his love for you, and his desire to grow in Christ with you. Because he not only acts handsome but looks handsome. Because he is so kind, so strong, so sincere.
But he isn’t Jesus.
He will say the wrong thing and not realize it. Or maybe he will realize it and he won’t be sorry about it until later.
He won’t care as much as you do about socks and under things being put away.
He might fall into a rut of passivity, not leading you spiritually.
He could be the kindest, most patient, most laid-back man you have ever known, but he will still get angry, frustrated, upset, and hurt by things you say, do, or have nothing to do with.
He won’t like you sometimes.
He might not notice you or romance you the way he did before, when you were dating, or in the first few months.
The haze surrounding the wedding day will lift, and real life will set in, and you will realize that marriage is an all out war against the powers of this world. And, when you’re in the trenches, it’s easy to look at things horizontally. To think critically about things from a worldly perspective. “He isn’t who I thought he was. He changed once we got married. He’s dirtier than I thought he would be. He seems to think I’m his maid. He doesn’t notice me anymore. He only thinks about himself. He doesn’t even care. He makes me unhappy.”
Of course he does. And he will. Over and over. Because he isn’t Jesus.
Your husband might have changed, but Jesus never changes. His love for you is constant and runs deeper than you can fathom. Only Jesus is the steadfast rock to which you can cling.
Your husband might falter in leading you, but Jesus never falters. He gave you His Spirit to guide you. He hid His word in your heart. He beckons you to fellowship with Him and delights in your spiritual growth.
Your husband might not easily forgive or love you when you sin, but Jesus is faithful and just. He will forgive you, and will put it out of sight. He loved you so much He died the most painful death for you. And when you throw that sacrifice back in His face day after day, He continues to love you, to forgive you, to cover you with His blood.
Your husband will strive to be the best husband for you he can be. He will love you and he will provide for you and he will protect you. Jesus died to be His Church’s husband. He is therefore the ultimate bridegroom. He loved you on the cross. He provided a way to God on the cross. He protects you with His breastplate of righteousness and shield of faith.
If your happiness rests on your earthly husband’s performance, if you anoint him as your false savior, as your idol, you will be utterly crushed. Because your husband is a sinner, just like you. And just like you, he needs Jesus.
Instead, let both husband and wife abide in Jesus Christ, in His sacrifice, in His grace, in His love. Only there can you find everlasting joy and peace. Only there can a marriage withstand the devil’s darts. Only there can you truly love and contentedly live with another sinner.
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
The Bride eyes not her garment, but her dear Bridegroom’s face;
I will not gaze at glory but on my King of grace.
Not at the crown He giveth but on His pierced hand;
The Lamb is all the glory of Immanuel’s land.
Anne R. Cousin
For your husband is your Maker,
Whose name is the Lord of hosts;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel,
Who is called the God of all the earth.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.