I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that I am a sinner.
Unkindness, anger, bitterness, pride, selfishness, the desire to control my own situations, and then the desire to fix myself — it’s all here in these blog posts and it wars endlessly in my soul.
And it is the most discouraging when I see God’s hand in my progress in climbing out of the pit concerning a certain sin and proceed to slide back down into the mud of it the next day.
Was it fake? Was my progress a fluke? Will I never be holy? Am I even saved? I know God forgave me for this sin before, but it’s on my head this time.
Cue bitter attempts to make my wrongs right.
You’d think I’d know by now that God forgives, God saves, God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west.
That moment I was saved, that night I poured the casualties of my weary, spiritually battered soul into my Savior’s ear and the night He forgave me, the night He saved me from myself. His saving grace was real. His saving grace is real.
He not only forgave me that November night in 2011, but He forgives me now and forevermore.
He not only saved me from the sins of my past, but He saves me from my present and future sins.
He not only claimed me as His own the night I flung myself at the foot of His cross, but He continues to claim me as His own when I struggle to return to the foot of His cross.
He was fully human, but He did not receive my trait of human fickleness. He does not toss me aside when I fail Him hourly. He does not ignore me when I come to Him after a season of apathy.
He didn’t die for only some of my sins. He died for all of my sins. My past sins. My present sins. My sins I have yet to commit.
I am loathsome. I am deplorable and despicable. I have nothing to offer Him.
Yet, I am loved by Him. I am forgiven by Him. I am valuable to Him.
Two wonders here that I confess: my worth and my unworthiness.
My value fixed, my ransom paid at the cross.
Keith and Kristen Getty
And after all the stupid things I did, there’s nothing left there to forgive because You already forgave me — You already forgave me.
For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.