Dear world,

No, I don’t play basketball. No, I wouldn’t be a natural. Just ask the person who wore my arm like a scarf last time I tried to play. Yes, I know I’m a waste of height, thank you.

The air is perfect up here. Thanks for asking.

Please save the tall guys for us.

Yes, you may turn to me in an emergency. Years of being a foot taller than everyone else has prepared me for being the human lighthouse.

I don’t like small dogs because I will step on them.

Sure, I’ll get that off the top shelf for you.

You should probably dust the top of your fridge. Just sayin’.

I prefer walking on the street-side of the sidewalk.Β I don’t want to clothesline myself with a tree branch.

Don’t joke about decapitation. It’s an actual risk for me.

I only look thinner because I’m elongated.

I didn’t mean to stick my chest in your face… you just didn’t give me time to duck down for the hug.

Must be nice to order jeans and long-sleeved shirts online.

Must be nice to have full-length jeans at your fingertips.

Thanks, but these aren’t cropped jeans. I’m just too tall.

I’d love to buy the women’s size of this hoodie, but the sleeves are too short. So I’ll buy the men’s size and look like I’m a potato in a potato sack. At least I’ll have long enough sleeves!

Why do people with small feet get all the cute shoes? And get them on clearance, to boot?

Oh, I’m fine, I just smacked my head on this shelf/doorpost/cupboard. Happens all the time.

Wow, my feet aren’t touching the floor in this chair! I’m going to sit here for the rest of the day.

I can’t remember a time when I was under 100 lbs. Height = more weight, my friend.

No, I didn’t grow.

Yes, I own heels.

I can see you checking my feet to see if I’m really this tall or just wearing heels. And yes, I’m really this tall. And who goes to Wal-Mart in heels?

No, I don’t want to play in the WNBA. And no, you can’t be my agent, creepy man at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Yes, I love being tall. But, to make you feel better, I’m going to tell you it has its disadvantages.

Much love,

Tall girls


P.S.: There are no disadvantages.


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