Discovering My Discontent

That moment when your spiritual life becomes a Febreze commercial.

You read a book about godliness and godly attributes or you listen to what should be a convicting sermon and you think to yourself: “This is good stuff. But… I’m pretty sure I got this down. In the bag. Already sold. Out the door. Good refresher, though.” Your soul smells like a rose garden or a ocean breeze. To you. You’re the one with the blindfold on, anyway.

And then God happens. He whips the blindfold off and pulls out all the rotting trash from under the bed of your heart. He shoves it in your face (with the greatest love in the universe) and makes you stunningly aware of your disgusting, underlying sin. And suddenly you realize, “I don’t got this.”

For those of us slower in the discovery process (ahem — me), it takes a couple days to sink in. I read the first chapter of The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment on Sunday. After two tumultuous days, during which my husband was graced by God with patience and unconditional love, I pondered one of my rants and said to Mister, “I think I’m discontent.”

Oh boy, this will be an interesting Bible study. My soul is equally eager to learn contentment and terrified at what it might find out about itself.

But what, then, it will be asked, is this quietness of spirit opposed to?…

3. To tumultuousness of spirit, when the thoughts run distractingly and work in a confused manner, so that the affections are like the unruly multitude in the Acts, who did not know for what purpose they had come together. The Lord expects you to be silent under his rod, and, as was said in Acts 19:36, ‘Ye ought to be quiet and to do nothing rashly.’

4. It is opposed to an unsettled and unstable spirit, whereby the heart is distracted from the present duty that God requires in our several relationships, towards God, ourselves, and others. We should prize duty more highly than to be distracted by every trivial occasion. … It is an expression of Luther’s that ordinary works, done in faith and from faith, are more precious than heaven and earth. And if this is so, and a Christian knows it, he should not be diverted by small matters, but should answer every distraction, and resist every temptation.

Can it get any clearer?

(The answer is no).


2 thoughts on “Discovering My Discontent

  1. I’m sorry. It’s not very nice or gracious or motherly of me, but I snorted when I read, “‘I laid in bed last night and said to Mister, ‘I think I’m discontent.’” Yes, it’s going to be an interesting study. ❀

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